For those of you who know me, I really need your help with this one.  If you don't know me, I'd still appreciate your thoughts.  We moms need to stick together!

My daughter is so emotional, and stressed out, and just too sensitive for her own good.  I know she gets it from me; I know it's hereditary - but I don't think it's good for her. She's ten, and when she's not trying to be 15, she acts like she's 2.  It goes from over dramatizing to temper-tantrums.

Her step-dad (truly, the only dad she's ever known and has been in her life since she was 3) is a wonderful, wonderful man.  He would do absolutely anything for her. But his temper is too much for her to handle. He has never hurt her (because we would be out of here so fast his head would spin.  I love him, but my baby will ALWAYS come first!) 

Even though he is a great guy, he's got a bad temper.  And because of this, she hates him 98% of the time.  Sometimes I feel her hatred is justifiable.  And sometimes (because of the way he makes her feel) I hate him, too.  Sometimes not.  Most of the time when he gets angry it's because she's talking back or not doing what she's told.  And I get angry, too, but I handle it differently.  (From the moment she was born.... no, BEFORE she was born, I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would help me get my temper under control.  And I swear to you, He has.  I handle things by talking them out with her.  Sure, once in a blue moon she'll get a swat on the butt, but that's only happened maybe three times in the last ten years.  Usually, we're able to talk things through, and she will listen to me.  But if he's around, he'll jump right in with his big old scary mouth.  He won't speak in a normal tone and try to handle things as if she were a mature child because he wasn't "raised that way".  Well neither was I!  In fact, I wasn't really 'raised' at all.  I was left to myself most of the time, and I hated it.  So I'm doing everything I possibly can to give my baby girl a better life than I ever had.  That's why I can't stand the way my husband chooses to deal with things.  He yells.  He yells a lot. 

Just a few weeks ago he said something extremely cold, and I snapped out on him.  (He asked her to do something, and when she refused, he told her she was worthless.)  At that point I reminded him that he might have been raised that way, and that might be the way he talked to his children, but he is not going to talk to MY baby like that!!!!   ....(One more time and I swear we're done!) 

So anyway, he yells at her when she talks back or gets an attitude. Then it just spirals out of control and the next thing I know she's hiding under a table or in a corner somewhere saying she hates her life and she doesn't deserve to live.  I don't know how to handle it.  I love her soooooo much - more than life itself!  I would do absolutely anything to make her feel better and stop thinking that way, but I just don't know how to do it. 

She is very much a drama queen, and I think a lot of the time she's just over reacting, looking for attention.  But as my mom reminded me just a few weeks ago, I felt the same way about my step-dad when I was my daughter's age.  In fact, I was just two years older than her when I tried over-dosing because of him.  I hated him and I just wanted to die.  (God, I'm actually beginning to cry as I sit here typing this.) 

The difference was, MY step-dad was a drunk.  A drug addicted, alcoholic bully who was always threatening to kill us and had the cops at our house at least twice a week.  I hated him, and I had good reason for it.  And although my husband is nothing like that, my mom's words hit me hard.  I guess just his constant yelling really could cause my baby to look at him the same way I looked at Dan.  To a little girl so sweet and sensitive, a grown man who seems so loud and scary would be way too much to handle.  And if that's the case, maybe sometimes she really does want to die.  And that scares the hell out of me!  Short of getting divorced, I don't know what to do to make my baby feel safe!  All I know is I can't continue allowing him to have this affect on her.

I've been thinking for a while now that we could all benefit from some counseling.  I really feel that it might help her, and that's all I want to do.  Don't get me wrong - she is a very bright, intelligent girl who's only fault is that of being too sensitive.  Granted, she does have a big mouth and a cocky attitude, but isn't that normal for a girl her age?  I was a teenager once, and I know how rotten I was!  So I certainly can't say she's "bad", because she's not.  She's mouthy, but she's a very good girl who doesn't deserve to feel the way she's obviously feeling.

Here's my main concern, though...  as I've mentioned, she is a drama queen.  She will exaggerate a story a thousand times over until she reaches the point she set out to make.  So what if she would be sitting with a therapist and say something that leads them to believe she's being abused?  They would take her away from me and then I would be the one wanting to die!  (I've seen it happen.  My very best friend lost her son.  The reasons were a little different, but the end result is what I'm afraid of.)  Let's face it, the state and social services just don't play these days!  And if they had the slightest inkling that she wasn't being taken care of properly, they wouldn't hesitate to yank her from my arms and throw her into foster care.  I swear to all who read this, I could never live with myself if that happened.  She's my baby and I couldn't live without her.  I wouldn't want to!  All of you moms out there know exactly what I mean.  Once you have a child, nothing else matters. Giving them a safe, happy home and taking care of them becomes your only concern.  And that's how I feel about my baby girl. She is my LIFE!

So, you can see my dilemma.  I just don't know what to do for her. She's with my mom for the night, and Mr. Wonderful is back taking a nap.  And here I sit, crying at my keyboard.  I just don't know what to do.  If anyone can offer any suggestions --- anything at all, I would appreciate it more than you can possibly imagine.

Hope you don't mind, but I've tagged everyone for this post.  I think it's something should ALL take to heart.

If I've learned two things in my life, they would be not go to bed angry, and not to let my loved ones out of my site without telling them I love them.

My daughter and I had a typical morning today: loud.  She's very mouthy for her age, and sometimes I just want to wring her neck.  She's only 10, and she has no older brothers or sisters living here, so I don't know where she gets her cockiness.  But she's definitely cocky!  Almost every morning (school mornings, that is) we end up arguing about something and I let her ruin my whole day.  And as I mentioned, this morning was no different.  So we were sitting in the car at the bus stop and she was telling me how "well maybe I just won't come home."  (She talks crap all the time, but she loves me just as much as I love her, and we couldn't be apart for more than one school-day or we'd both go crazy.)  Anyway, despite my increasing stress level, I hated the sound of that (what she said about not coming home), and I couldn't bear the thought of her getting on that bus without me reminding her of how much I love her.  I always tell her that.  Literally, probably 100 times a day!  So before she got on the bus, I told her I loved her, and I would see her tonight.  Magically, everything seemed better, then.

Ten minutes later she's calling me, saying "You should be thankful I don't have to cross the street to get on the bus."   Turns out, a highschool girl who rides her bus was running across the street to get on, and she got hit by a car.  Some psycho who doesn't bother to pay attention or slow down for school busses as the law demands....  someone else who clearly thinks getting to work on time is more important than anything else, hit this poor girl and God only knows how she is and what's going to happen to her. 

Bre said she couldn't see anything, but there were all kinds of fire trucks.  I felt so horrible, and I still do.  I reminded my baby to say a prayer for that girl, and I did as well.  I don't even know her, other than her name is Summer, yet I had to say a special prayer for her and her family.

And you know, all I can think about is "Did Summer's mom tell her she loved her this morning?" 

Whenever you have the chance to remind someone special of how much they mean to you, please don't let it slip away.  You might never have that chance again.